theres like a war going on at home and a disaster btw ben and i. i feel that theres a need to do something to change everything but i cant figure what i can actually do. the things that he says just pierces thru my heart but i prefer to remain silent and keep it inside me. i wont be able to turn him into a sensitive man just by telling him whats wrong or cby rying infront of him. his heart is made of steel. SIGH. is it boys or is it just him?
to YOU: i dont want this xmas to be like the past 2 xmas i had with YOU. its fucking annoying when u keep complaining about the present i got for u. its
ur fault for u to lie that u want it and it doesnt help much when i realised that u didnt even meant what u said and ive
wasted all my efforts and money on it. its alright if u cant appreciate it can u just kindly shut up and stop complaining. it doesnt help when u prefer to celebrate xmas with ur friends until i protested. i feel so redundant in ur life such that i think that both of us will be happier if i get out of it.
i am so glad that ive got such a great uncle who was there for me to try to clear things up. he called up my sis (from jordan) and all. its wonderful to feel so loved by someone who is so far away. yet someone who is so close is here to add on to the mess in my head.
